Dude my mom stole all your condoms
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
