He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I wanna passion pit in your ass
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
