He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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