Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Randomize
