i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
