Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
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