Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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