I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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