I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
