You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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