also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
