Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
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Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
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time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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