So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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