I think i peed on brittanys purse
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
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She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
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Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
A+ Viking dick
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize