Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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