She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
