i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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