I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Never underestimate the power of titties
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
