sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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