I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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