if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
