she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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