We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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