So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
