at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Farmville is her only friend.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
