So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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