I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
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