So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
