Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize