just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
