Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
