I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
