oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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