What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
