I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
