It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
