hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
