member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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