I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
