There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
