and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
