doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
we're making bets on your personal life
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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