How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
