then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
