I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
