First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
sex in a hospital.. check
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
