yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
