you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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