how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
