The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
is it fun? or sober?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
