as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
