tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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