my mouth tastes like poor choices
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
