this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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