went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize