I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
