it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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