So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
