My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
