Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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