i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
