What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
