Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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