im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
