I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
