Betty ford says i'm here all night
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
