On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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