I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
