omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
