I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
