you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
