Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
she told me i tasted like america
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
