I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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