I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
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Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
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In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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